When You Love Your Fool | Foolish

The world is filled with difficult people. It is impossible to avoid them. You try everything – confrontation, or compromise, or being passive, or even straight ignoring it. Too often these people drag you into their issues and your best attempts at making peace fail. You want to handle your relationships in a way that honors God and preserves your sanity – but is it even possible?

Difficult people in our lives are often who the Bible refers to as "fools." Dealing with fools requires a special kind of wisdom. Insights from the biblical book of Proverbs will help us with the foolish people in your life—even that fool is you.

 

Sometimes the fool is our spouse, child, sibling, or parent. How difficult is that? Except when we are very angry, we make excuses for that person. We can’t consider labeling them a fool. We spend lifetimes trying to make them look better. It is hard to admit that it will never work. We have to do something different. You can give up the strategies that will never work and always leave you defeated. You can put away childish things. You can speak the truth in love. You can untangle from the dysfunction. You can overcome evil with good.

Message Notes

A love relationship with a fool is generally characterized by childish behavior on both sides.

 
When I was a child, I used to speak as a child; when I became a man, I put away childish things.
— I Corinthians 13:11
 

Man means adult, mature person

 

How do children speak?

They say whatever they think, whenever they think it, to whomever they wish, without considering the effect.

An adult has awareness than his or her words have power, and carefully controls their speech.

 
Take control of what I say, O Lord, and guard my lips.
— Psalm 141:3
 

How do children think and reason?

They think about themselves and what they can get for themselves.

An adult is willing to consider others’ needs and other ways.

 
Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way.
— I Corinthians 13:4
What is causing the quarrels and fights among you? Don’t they come from the evil desires at war within you? You want what you don’t have, so you scheme and kill to get it. You are jealous of what others have, but you can’t get it, so you fight and wage war to take it away from them. Yet you don’t have what you want because you don’t ask God for it.
— James 4:1-2
 

A new strategy for the old battle:

 
But the wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and the fruit of good deeds. It shows no favoritism and is always sincere. And those who are peacemakers will plant seeds of peace and reap a harvest of righteousness.
— James 3:17-18
 

The goal of seeking wisdom is not to change the other person, but for you to become a holy, healthy, happy functioning person.

Turn away from evil.

 
Turn away from evil…
— Psalm 34:14
 


Overcome evil with good

 
.…and do good.
— Psalm 34:14
Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say, “I will take revenge; I will pay them back,” says the Lord. Instead, “If your enemies are hungry, feed them. If they are thirsty, give them something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals of shame on their heads.” Don’t let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good.
— Romans 12:19-21
 

Detach

 
I do not spend time with liars or go along with hypocrites. I hate the gatherings of those who do evil, and I refuse to join in with the wicked.
— Psalm 26:4-5
 

Speak the truth

 
So stop telling lies. Let us tell our neighbors the truth, for we are all parts of the same body. And “don’t sin by letting anger control you.” Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil.
— Ephesians 4:25-27
 

Pray

 
And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words. And the Father who knows all hearts knows what the Spirit is saying, for the Spirit pleads for us believers in harmony with God’s own will.
— Romans 8:26-27
 

If you are ready to follow, God will lead you.

 

If You Can't Beat Them, Join Them | Foolish

The world is filled with difficult people. It is impossible to avoid them. You try everything – confrontation, or compromise, or being passive, or even straight ignoring it. Too often these people drag you into their issues and your best attempts at making peace fail. You want to handle your relationships in a way that honors God and preserves your sanity – but is it even possible?

Difficult people in our lives are often who the Bible refers to as "fools." Dealing with fools requires a special kind of wisdom. Insights from the biblical book of Proverbs will help us with the foolish people in your life—even that fool is you.

Unfortunately, this is the most common reaction to life with a fool. You get so entangled with the fool that your own mind becomes muddied. You are so affected by the fool’s behavior you behave foolishly, too. How can you peel your eyes off your fool to live a life of wisdom?

Message Notes

Two Mistakes With a Fool:

1. Repeated rescues

Hot-tempered people must pay the penalty. If you rescue them once, you will have to do it again.
Proverbs 19:19

2. Refusal to disentangle.

Don’t befriend angry people or associate with hot-tempered people, or you will learn to be like them and endanger your soul.  
Proverbs 22:24-25

Foolish Strategies to Deal with a Fool:

Pampering

Pouting

Passivity

Protecting

Pleading

Pleasing

Prodding

Attempting to relate with a fool is exhausting, because a fool will “give you no rest.”
Proverbs 29:9
If you try to change a fool, you will fail. “The discipline of fools is folly (irrational).”
Proverbs 16:22

You must choose to seek wisdom. Abigail - I Samuel 25

1.      She knew the facts.

2.      She faced the facts.

3.      She knew what to do.

4.      She did it.

Face your fears.

Face the facts.

Choose truth over the lies.

Ask God for wisdom, and then courage to do what wisdom says.

Foolish is as Foolish Does | Foolish

The world is filled with difficult people. It is impossible to avoid them. You try everything – confrontation, or compromise, or being passive, or even straight ignoring it. Too often these people drag you into their issues and your best attempts at making peace fail. You want to handle your relationships in a way that honors God and preserves your sanity – but is it even possible?

Difficult people in our lives are often who the Bible refers to as "fools." Dealing with fools requires a special kind of wisdom. Insights from the biblical book of Proverbs will help us with the foolish people in your life—even that fool is you.

How can you recognize a fool? Proverbs details at least a dozen characteristics that describe a fool. When you learn to recognize them, you can learn what to do. But your goal cannot be to change your fool; your goal must be personal freedom to be the person God intends, no matter what choices your fool makes.

Message Notes

At its core, foolish thinking is always selfish.

A fool is always “right.”

Fools think their own way is right, but the wise listen to others.
Proverbs 12:15
Fear of the Lord is the foundation of true knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline.
Proverbs 1:7

A fool puts unqualified confidence in himself.

Those who trust their own insight are foolish, but anyone who walks in wisdom is safe.
Proverbs 28:26

A fool is deceitful.

The prudent understand where they are going, but fools deceive themselves.
Proverbs 14:8

A fool is self-satisfied.

For simpletons turn away from wisdom—to death. Fools are destroyed by their own complacency.
Proverbs 1:32

A fool protects his own interest at all costs.

The wise are cautious[a] and avoid danger; fools plunge ahead with reckless confidence.
Proverbs 14:16

A fool is his own judge and jury, and sees no reason to repent or make amends.

Fools make fun of guilt, but the godly acknowledge it and seek reconciliation.
Proverbs 14:9

A fool is angry.

Fools have no interest in understanding; they only want to air their own opinions.
Proverbs 18:2
If a wise person takes a fool to court, there will be ranting and ridicule but no satisfaction.
Proverbs 29:9

A fool creates chaos and strife.

Fools’ words get them into constant quarrels; they are asking for a beating.
The mouths of fools are their ruin; they trap themselves with their lips.
Proverbs 18:6-7

A fool destroys.

Pride leads to conflict; those who take advice are wise.
Proverbs 13:20

A fool spreads slander.

Hiding hatred makes you a liar; slandering others makes you a fool.
 Proverbs 10:18

A fool is exhausting.

A stone is heavy and sand is weighty, but the resentment caused by a fool is even heavier.
Proverbs 27:3

A fool enjoys his foolishness.

Doing wrong is fun for a fool, but living wisely brings pleasure to the sensible.
Proverbs 10:23

Where’s The Hope?

Go to God for wisdom.

If you need wisdom, ask our generous God and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.
James 1:5

Determine that your fool is God’s to deal with.

“There are two kinds of people; those who say to God, ‘Thy will be done,’ and those to whom God says, ‘All right, then, have it your way.’”
C.S. Lewis

Concentrate on what YOU can do.

Practice self-selection.

Seek the Lord with your whole heart.

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.
Jeremiah 29:11-13

Relational Intelegence Foolish | Foolish

The world is filled with difficult people. It is impossible to avoid them. You try everything – confrontation, or compromise, or being passive, or even straight ignoring it. Too often these people drag you into their issues and your best attempts at making peace fail. You want to handle your relationships in a way that honors God and preserves your sanity – but is it even possible?

Difficult people in our lives are often who the Bible refers to as "fools." Dealing with fools requires a special kind of wisdom. Insights from the biblical book of Proverbs will help us with the foolish people in your life—even that fool is you.

 

God has made it clear: we have to have relational intelligence if we are to live the life he has planned. Learning to recognize and deal with foolish people is central. The Book of Proverbs tells us there are three kinds of people—WISE PEOPLE, SIMPLE FOOLS, and EVIL FOOLS. Simple fools are naïve and without insight, while evil fools have a character problem. Evil Fools are close-minded, spiritually lacking, and hardened.  Breaking free is difficult, because these fools can be very loving…and cunning; engaging…and threatening. How can you act like Jesus, but not be pulled into the emotional undertow?

Message Notes

God gave Solomon wisdom and very great insight, and a breadth of understanding as measureless as the sand on the seashore.
I Kings 4:29

God’s word and life show us there are Three Basic Categories of people:

1.  Evil  People

They enjoy conflict, bring chaos, and inflict pain.

If people are causing divisions among you, give a first and second warning. After that, have nothing more to do with them. For people like that have turned away from the truth, and their own sins condemn them.
Titus 3:10-11
The sensible see danger and take cover; the foolish keep going and are punished.
Proverbs 27:12

2. Wise People

When truth presents itself, the wise person takes it in and makes the adjustment.

Correct a wise person and he will become wiser still.
Proverbs 9:9
An ear that listens to life-giving rebukes will be at home among the wise.
Proverbs 15:31

3.      Fools

When the truth presents itself they expect the world and the truth to adjust to them.

Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited. Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
Romans 12:14-18
Fools think their own way is right, but the wise listen to others.
Proverbs 12:15

A Lot Can Happen In Seven Days | Easter Sunday

We assign the seconds, minutes, and hours over the course of our seven days. Some weeks it goes just as we plan; other weeks we wonder why we even made a plan in the first place! But there was one week unlike any other in all of human history. Only one person anticipated the events that took place - and yet, all of human history changed in an instant...You know, a lot can happen in seven days.

Message Notes

Monday-Thursday
The ordinary days…the days when life has its normal flow.

Thursday & Friday
The hardest days of your life…when you experience betrayal, disappointment, and heartbreak.

Since Jesus went through suffering and temptation, he knows what it is like when we suffer and are tempted, and he is able to help us.
Hebrews 2:18

Reach out to your friends and to your Heavenly Father.

Jesus fell face down on the ground and prayed that if possible, he would not have to suffer the pain ahead of him.  He prayed, “Abba! Father! I know you can do all things.  And I don’t want to have to drink this cup of suffering.  Nevertheless, I want your will, not mine, to be done.”
Mark 14:35-36

Saturday
The most confusing days of your life…when you experience loss, grief, doubt, and fear.

Then Jesus told them, “Before the night’s over, you’re going to fall to pieces because of what happens to me.”
Matthew 26:31
At that point, all the disciples abandoned Jesus and ran away.
Matthew 26:56

Remember the promises of God.

For ALL the promises of God find their “Yes” in Jesus Christ
II Corinthians 1:20
When you go through deep waters and great trouble, I will be with you.  When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown! When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up—the flames will not consume you! For I am the Lord, your God and Savior!
Isaiah 43:2-3

Sunday
And then, the day of resurrection and joy…when you discover life is still good and you have a future.

Rely on the power of Jesus.

Jesus said, “I AM the resurrection and the life! Whoever believes in me, even though they die, will live again.  I give them eternal life for believing in me and they will never perish!
 John 11:25-26
I pray that you will begin to understand how incredibly great his power is to help those who believe him.  It is that same mighty power that raised Christ from the dead.
Ephesians 1:19-20